Saturday Horror Short #9

Relationships suck. Love sucks, and sometimes we do stupid things when we feel hurt. But sometimes, those emotions come from somewhere else, maybe even from something else. Love Hurts tackles that exact idea, in a gorgeous fashion that brings together some great elements of what a short horror film should have. Enjoy!

The Devil's Rejects (2005)

What it's about: A vengeful sheriff and two bounty hunters track a murderous family on the run.

Review: Distinctly different than House of 1000 Corpses in tone, we begin with a recounting of what we learned in the first movie - how the Firefly family led a life full of sadistic torture, rape, and murder within their dilapidated farmhouse in Alabama. Photos of the victims twisted in various forms are shown on the screen in startling relief. 

Change to the camera framing the top of a dead woman, completely nude we soon learn as the camera pans out to show Tiny Firefly dragging said corpse through the woods surrounding the farmhouse. We are unsure of his destination, but that information becomes obsolete as in the distance, the sound of police cars and the image of the cars and trucks race down the road towards the farmhouse with the obvious intent of arresting the family. 

And this is what Otis had to say to that.

Sudden Death Overtime, Steve Vernon (2012)

Mr. Vernon is a pretty prolific novelette writer.  He's already got 11 titles under his belt, and the twelfth involves vampires and hockey; I know, an odd combination, but it's actually quite entertaining. The entire story is tongue-in-cheek, pages of camp that are designed to crack a smile if not out-rightly make you laugh out loud (I know I did).

The entire story takes place over a week in the small town of Hope's End, near Labrador, Canada, following a group of "old farts" as they contend with the stagnant pace of their lives, each carrying his own inner burden. The one thing that really brings them together is hockey, and they all care for a local rink that the town kids play on. 

It's basically their way of giving back to the community, in order to keep the teenagers in line and stop anyone from blowing a gasket. Small towns definitely have a way of causing bigger blow outs for smaller issues, so it's kind of these guys to do what could be seen as such a small gesture.

But the simplicity and mundane consistency of their lives is abruptly interrupted by the appearance of a devilish black bus. I really enjoyed the descriptions of the bus, how it comes alive and is literally an entity in its own right, never mind the cargo its hauling around. The vampires, using their dark vehicle, slowly begin to eat their way through the town populace, even going so far as to destroy the local church as a safeguard for their own protection. The group of old men are finally clued into the vampires after both the disappearance of one of their own along with a confrontation that brings the toothy predators right into their line of vision - as well as smell, since they end up using garlic to fend off their attackers.

Being the crotchety old codgers that they are, the men don't go down without a fight, using every book and movie trick that they've heard about in order to protect their beloved town from the undead menace. It all eventually culminates in a hockey game to the death, putting not only hockey sticks and skates to new uses, but the very rink itself.

Sudden Death Overtime is available on Amazon for $2.99 in digital format only.

The Casebook of Victor Frankenstein, Peter Ackroyd (2008)

This is another "rewrite" of Frankenstein that I found out about after hearing that it had been optioned to be made into a film. Like any and all things related to Shelley's classic, I rushed out and found a copy; I'm glad to say that I found it in hardback, making the cover art absolutely stunning and the page quality top-notch.  The writing is, of course, beautiful and well done, but the story itself left me with quite a few questions. Not that the plot is unfinished, or has undone tangents; simply the whole idea of it made me curious as to how it came about.

Of course ,Victor Frankenstein is our main character, as always, and this book tells his story (as per usual) from his first person point of view. We are first introduced to him when he's in school at Oxford, studying the human body to divine its secrets, even when the professors frown on these kind of shenanigans. More that needs to be known? They scoff, believing that God has already told them all they would need to know about the human form. Victor is not dissuaded from his course, and instead actually finds another companion who proves to encourage Victor's strange tendencies. This person is none other than Percy Bysshe Shelley himself, the Romantic poet that Mary Wollstonecraft Godwin (aka Mary Shelley) attached herself to.

Bysshe, as he insists Victor name him, is a volatile and manic fellow who throws his lot in with activists, always feeling that he is able to speak his mind in any group. Victor doesn't necessarily follow his lead, but becomes a member of Bysshe's entourage for the short time Bysshe is at Oxford. Victor's story follows the usual course - he becomes so enamored of the idea of creating life that he eventually researches galvanism and other forms of electrical inquiry, all toward the idea of reversing death. His experiments eventually work, but the creature (the only name for the thing) is so hideous and brutish that Victor relinquishes all ownership due to a creator.

The creature, of course, doesn't take kindly to being rejected so utterly, and thus a battle of wills is formed. It's simply not the battle of wills that one is used to - I certainly suspected something was amiss when the creature knew more than it should have, and the ending has a twist that I frankly did not see coming. This sort of story would certainly be wonderful to see in a thematic format, if it ever gets made; but my question was why did it seem necessary to introduce Percy Shelley, Lord Byron, Samuel Coleridge, John Polidori, and even eventually Mary Shelley herself into this narrative?

It's almost like that recent Dracula sequel, Dracula Undead, where Bram Stoker himself makes an appearance. It's nothing more than a gag to make readers interested; if anything, what it does, for me, is provide the theory that Mary did not necessarily come up with this story on her own, but that she based it on the life of someone she knew. Which I frankly find insulting, considering who Mary's parents were, the company she kept, and the times she lived in. I'm sure that Mr. Ackroyd did not intend to insult anyone, that he merely thought that this was a good twist on a well known story. And it is - the ending, for me, redeemed the rest of the book. It's definitely a good read, if simply to see the ending unfold. But I personally dislike this idea of introducing real literary people into fictions as though this adds something to them, when it clearly doesn't. 

Saturday Horror Short #8

Welcome to another Saturday! Today I've got a short little story about a babysitter. Red Balloon tells the story of a young woman strapped for cash and doing a favor for a neighbor -- but of course, she's getting more than she bargained for. Check it out below!

Freakdog/Red Mist (2008)

What it's about: After a night of illegal revelry goes horribly awry, a group of medical students are left at the mercy of the young man they put into a coma - and the one who's unknowingly helping him.

Review: From the director who brought us Shrooms comes this little attempt at a horror story, which is basically I Know What You Did Last Summer meets a backward version of Freddy Krueger. It's neither original nor scary, but I found myself entertained all the same. It's a shame that they locked Andrew Lee Potts away so early on in the film - he's a fantastic actor, and his character edged so wonderfully on absolutely creepy that it was much more interesting having him on screen than any of the other stereotypical canon fodder. But, alas, every slasher-wanna-be has to have their quirk, and this particular one combines elements of J-horror with the kill every sexy American coed on screen elements of straight to video slaughterfests.

Even Andrew was a bit miffed about what happened to his character.

Filler Wednesdays!

Sorry for another filler entry, but I started a new job three weeks ago. I gained an hour long commute and yesterday (the day I usually whip up my Wednesday posts) was especially taxing. So, videos! We're going to go with some more music videos for today. I don't know how many of you enjoy dubstep or drum and bass, but I honestly can't get enough of the wub wub wub. Here are some of the best horror themed dubstep  and dnb videos I've found thus far - if you have any to share, feel free.

Friday will resume regular posting. Enjoy the music!

Breathers: A Zombie's Lament, S.G. Browne (2009)

Heralded as "Twilight for zombies", I was definitely glad to find that this book had much more depth than the vampire trilogy. There is a romance, but it takes a backseat to the idea that "zombies are people, too." Notice the present tense of that sentence - surely you've heard the tongue-in-cheek slogan that encourages proper treatment of our undead brethren. 

In S.G. Browne's Breathers: A Zombie's Lament, main character Andy Warner finds himself turned into one of the undead because of a car accident that killed both him and his wife. For some reason, only he reanimated, and his life has been hell ever since his parents picked him up from the Santa Cruz SPCA. Due to his state of decomposition, his parents, friends, and the general population ostracize him, which leads him to spend that majority of his time in his parent's basement, drinking away their wine collection. He can't speak, due to his vocal cords being damaged in the car accident; instead, he's reduced to writing on a board hanging from his neck.

When he's not in his parent's basement, he attends Undead Anonymous, where a group of likeminded (or like-dead?) individuals all discuss their deaths, their issues with reanimation, and how to best deal with a population who would rather see them truly dead rather than just shambling around on the street. It's there that Andy meets Rita, a suicide who loves to eat lipstick because of the formaldehyde in it, and Jerry, another car crash victim who accepts his zombie-ness with a little more enthusiasm than anyone else in the group. They quickly befriend the silent Andy, giving him a little more to "live" for as they stagger through a world that no longer recognizes them as anything but corpses. This is especially underlined when a new member joins their group, and is viciously mauled by a group of frat boys on Halloween, ending in his death. 

And then Ray Cooper is introduced; this renegade zombie hunts deer, or so he claims, and jerkies their meat for later consumption. He offers it to the group, and slowly they begin to notice changes. They're decomposing less; they're even starting to look a little more like, well, living people. It's quite clear that Ray's magical jerky isn't just venison, but Andy doesn't care. He and Rita have formed a loving relationship, he's starting to find more grounding and fight harder for his rights to be recognized as a person. He also starts to realize that he isn't a person as more and more of his new zombie tendencies begin to surface, at first showing in the killing and refrigeration of his parents. As much as he'd like to think that he is who he used to be before he died, Andy comes to eventually realize that he is now a zombie, and he has to start fighting back before someone decides to permanently put him down.

It's really refreshing to see a take on zombies that pits it not only from their point of view, but does so in a way that raises questions of life after death, how that would redefine death, how these people would be treated, the obvious issues with property and spouses and children that would arise. The zombies are not only victims of their death, but become continuous victims afterward because they go against everyone's expectations of death. It's basically like dying all over again, only in a slow, horrible fashion. The book goes to great lengths to detail the kind of world they live in, much in the same vein as many popular vampire and werewolf books have these days. Zombies have always been around, and documented accounts of them can be found all the way up to the Civil War. Newly turned zombies are usually captured by Animal Control, where the next of kin are contacted to see if they want custody of their dead. If they aren't picked up, then they're put down, like any other stray. Zombies have identification, like any pet, and cannot live on their own without some kind of Breather (the zombie word for human) sponsor to claim that they're not wrecking havoc. 

Overall, the book is written in a wonderfully detailed and humorous fashion, that shows the frustration of the main character while being entertaining. The sarcasm and depth of the book definitely help the reader to truly understand how Andy and the other zombies feel utterly helpless against this thing that has happened to them, how the people around them are totally unforgiving of their condition, and shows parallels to our own world, with how we treat people like invalids, the homeless, and others who don't fit into the expected standard. 

Now to see if they can keep that tone in the upcoming film.

Saturday Horror Short #7

Today's SHS has a mixture of real footage mixed with stop motion animation. This short is delightfully creepy, as a young boy finds himself dealing with a strange creature: a cat with hands. The film only gets more bizarre from there, so why are you still reading? Go watch!

Battle Royale (2000)

What it's about: In the future, the Japanese government captures a class of ninth-grade students and forces them to kill each other under the revolutionary "Battle Royale" act.

Review: It's a ruthless idea - forcing kids to fight to the death, all in the name of maintaining control. The intro of the film pieces together the background and reasoning behind the BR act: growing dissension among the youth has caused elder generations to grow afraid of their off-spring. A few scenes in the beginning show young students acting incredibly unruly, even going so far as to cut a teacher's leg. In an attempt to corral and keep the kids under their thumb, the government institutes games under the Millennium Education Reform Act, or more simply, the Battle Royale Act. Focusing on ninth grade students, whole classes are abducted and placed in unknown locations; this time around, it's an uninhabited island. With two wild cards thrown into the mix, it's a free for all where only one can win.Would you turn against your friends as you're told, or would you try to fight back against the government that has sanctioned murder?

And now for your listening pleasure...

Over on twitter, I was contacted by a member of the band Sinicle, who asked me to showcase a newly made music video for their song "Obliterate." Why would I do that, you ask? Well, it's got zombies in it, and pretty much anything with zombies in it is good in my book.

Formed in 2005 in Reno, Nevada, Sinicle promotes itself as "somewhere between Rock and Roll and Heavy Metal," which is certainly something that I can agree with. The throbbing beats and demonic sound of the lead singer are head-bang inducing, and definitely the kind of music that I enjoy. The music video is beautifully simple: while throwing one of their many shows, fans of the band are rushing toward the concert. The issue with these fans is that they've turned into flesh eating zombies! The band manages to make it through the song, but are woefully devoured at the end, perhaps putting an end to their music careers - or maybe bringing them back as undead Metalheads? Only time will tell!

Check out their music video below, and for more information, or to get in touch with the band, check out their Myspace and Facebook pages.

Wolf Gift, Anne Rice (2012)

The below review will contain more spoilers than I usually have in my book reviews, but I really felt it necessary to cite specific events in order to truly make my points. Read with caution.

The first thing I'd like to say before we get into the meat of this review is that I have been a fan of Anne Rice since I first picked up Queen of the Damned in high school. I think her writing is elegant, incorporating larger ideas into a well-told story. Through her works, I met a lot of the close friends that I do today - we would sit down and analyze, dissect and do our best to look deeply into each character and their stories. If a character was left without explanation, we attempted to fill in the gaps ourselves; her works were rich with historical settings, which was something that I absolutely adored. It took all of us out of our hum-drum lives of high school and its ensuing homework. 

I personally like to think that we hold the things we love to high standards. We have expectations for them -- or at least I do.  I have a deep, abiding respect for Mrs. Rice, so it's with mixed feelings that I write this review. During my time at San Francisco State University, where I studied Creative Writing, in many of my writing workshops we were often told that a first draft is not going to be the end product. More often than not, you might throw out the entire first draft, after finding a particular piece within the whole that you think could be the seed for a greater story. And that's precisely what I think happened here, with Wolf Gift.

Saturday Horror Short #6

This week, we're staying within the realm of animation but going CGI rather than practical. Alma is a short film about a child and her heart's desire, a doll. Of course, creepy children are a staple in horror films, but here the child isn't the one you should be afraid of. Subtle and classy, the short was produced by Cecile Hokes and boasts a plethora of awards. Dim the lights, get some snacks, and enjoy!

Alice: Madness Returns (2011)

McGee returns for the sequel to American McGee's Alice; here, we meet up with Alice a year after her release from Rutledge Asylum, which helped her to conquer the fears of losing her family in a huge conflagration that took down their home. Under the care of a man named Dr. Bumby, Alice slowly begins to realize that there is something wrong with her memories: they are broken, and pieces keep resurfacing in order to tell her that there is something amiss about the fire that destroyed her life. Delving back into the Wonderland that she created in order to escape from the hell that her life had become, Alice finds that her imaginary word is slowly being destroyed by a strange train. She quickly realizes that she must stop the train, or lose the truth forever. 

The most memorable aspect of this game is the lush and absolutely insane world created by McGee. It runs rampant with psychological imagery along with just the imagery instilled in the original story Alice's Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll. Starting off in a vividly bright forest that eventually follows a path to the infamous Duchess. One by one you will encounter the players from both the previous game and the book, each who do their best in giving Alice the pieces of the puzzle that she must complete to aide her in restoring order to Wonderland: if controlled chaos can be considered order. My particularly favorite level was that of the Queen of Hearts' realm; it's about halfway into the game, and as you have Alice progress further and further, the world around you becomes fractured. 

Hack/Slash (2004 - Present)

The final girl is not a new phenomenon in horror films - from strong female characters like Laurie in Halloween to Nancy in Nightmare on Elm Street, final girls are pretty awesome. They're the ones left standing, the ones who generally bring an end to the slashers that they are unwittingly pitted against. In the world of slashers, which is a genre of film that caters mainly to the base desires of lust and gore, having some kind of ideal that brings some kind of substance (however small) to a normally shallow film is a good thing.

And then there's Hack/Slash, which is a comic book dedicated entirely to the idea of final girls. Cassandra Hack, aka the Slasher Killer, is definitely a character that I can get behind. Coming from the roots that one might attribute to a serial killer (although, with Cassie, that topic is debatable), Cassie is the daughter of the infamous Lunch Lady - a woman who killed the students who picked on her beloved only child. Cassie is forced to turn her own mother over to the authorities, causing the woman to kill herself by sticking her head into a pot of boiling water. Oh yeah, this comic doesn't skimp on the gore, at all.

Cassie goes on to become a slasher slayer, a young woman who travels across the country to protect people from killers just like Freddy and Michael and Jason (oh my). She even runs afoul of quite a few well known killers, like Charles Lee Ray, better known as Chuckie, and Herbert West of H.P. Lovecraft fame. Along with the usual titillation of short skirts and skimpy shirts, Cassie also plays by the usual rules of slasher horror films (set into stone by Wes Craven's Scream series), albeit not by choice. She's a virgin, doesn't drink, and usually doesn't say that she'll be right back, though she is definitely guilty of rattling off ridiculous one liners.

My personal favorite villain of the series is Cassie's polar opposite and really brings out the interesting parts of her character: Laura Lochs, a religious zealot who dresses like the prude she is and yet wields arcane black magic in order to achieve her ends. After she gave her virginity up to the man she loved, he promptly scorned her and brought about Laura's righteous wrath. Using arcane tomes from her school's library, she resurrects a priest who committed suicide after it was discovered that he was gay (yes, there's a pattern here that isn't difficult to see). While Cassie skips around in her barely there underwear, she still has more morality than Laura can claim to have in her little finger. It's a definite case of don't judge books by their covers, because you certainly won't be getting what you see. Laura is the upstanding pillar of the community who's educated, had sex and dabbles in the dark arts in order to achieve her ends; meanwhile Cassie has a high school level of education and gets by with a knife in her hand. 

The comic definitely panders to the lust of the cis heterosexual male, but in all truth it's playing off the riffs of what makes a slasher film a slasher. Horror films operate on the idea of fear, as well as a sort of behavioral programming method for young adults - anyone doing anything deemed "bad" in a horror film will be axed. Drinking, drugs, having sex, you will die in some absolutely horrible way, brought to that terrible end but this mute creature of a man (or, in Freddy's case, one who just won't shut up). Then you've got characters like Vlad, who certainly don't fit the stereotype of the male fantasy: raised by a butcher, Vlad was ugly from birth and incredibly malformed. Only through the teachings of his adopted father did he survive, and eventually go on to help Cassie in her quest to stop the slashers, even as their quest seems to be an unending, unforgiving, and lonely one.

 From the backlots of Hollywood to across time and space, Cassie travels all over and where ever she's needed to stop killers before they start preying on the young and stupid. Other notable appearances are Wizard of Oz characters and the Archie comics. Each issue is sketched by artists with incredibly varying styles, but each brings their own interpretation of Cassie's gothic look to a new level that fits the various stories they are telling. I suppose my personal favorite would be when Mary Shelley Lovecraft invades a sleepy little town, turning all of its townfolk into Cthuluian fish people - or the time when Cassie had to figure out how to stop a killer who moved through the internet, literally. There are millions of stories to pick through, each quite possibly more amazing than the last.

Hack/Slash is published by Devil's Due Publishing; Omnibus 4 is due out April 4 of this year, so if I were you, I'd get the other three and catch the f*** up!

Being Human UK vs. Being Human US

When I first heard about the UK version of Being Human, I was intrigued. A ghost, vampire, and werewolf all living together in an attempt to live a normal life? All right, I'll give that a shot. It took a little bit before I was able to get a hold of the first few episodes, and I did my best to give it a good shot. But the UK flavor just didn't work for me - the 'rules' that the supernatural creatures were supposed to abide by seemed to fluctuate depending on what needed to happen, and I found the characters grating (especially Annie - so cheerful that I wanted to kill her all over again). So I wrote it off as another BBC show that I simply could not get into. And then I heard that the US, in their great tradition of stealing ideas and remaking/reformatting them for American audiences because we're all obviously so dumb that we can't understand anything that isn't properly made for us, was creating a US version of Being Human. As I've stated before in a previous post, I do my best to take remake news with a grain of salt. Of course, the normal looking actors that BBC generally casts (which is something I adore the BBC for, we aren't constantly subjected to 'perfect people') were replaced with gorgeous, 8% of the population actors. Good job, America, sticking to what I'm used to getting from you. 

Saturday Horror Short #5

Stop motion animation is an art form that I regard highly; it takes skill, effort, and immense patience to create, and if done right, looks amazing. Today's Saturday Horror Short is one such kind of film, with a subject matter that's dark and incredibly twisted. 

I do want to put up a warning for this one, because it might be too much for those with a weak constitution. There is some incredibly graphic material here (though I suppose if you watch horror films on a regular basis, it might not be anything more than what you've seen before, but even then...) so prepare yourself accordingly. Enjoy the show!

Scratches (2006)

One particular trope that horror authors like to visit in particular is secluding a writer in a cabin or otherwise spooky house and causing those who would write fiction to go through such a thing in reality. The 2006 point-and-click horror game Scratches is no stranger to this idea, but it plays along like it's never heard of it before - not that this is necessarily bad. As I've stated before, sometimes things that stick to a particular style, even if it's been beaten relentlessly, work out simply because they know what is required to execute that idea successfully.

Over the course of three days, you play as Michael Athrate, a successful suspense/thriller author who has recently acquired the Blackwood estate. This particular piece of real estate was the fruit of a long search by Atherate's agent, due to his client demanding a space that would make his imagination run wild in order to write a sequel to his best selling novel. Since Athrate writes in the horror genre, the game follows such a path; obstacles begin to appear in the form of no power, and then scratching noises making themselves present in the middle of the night. Athrate slowly begins to uncover the true story behind the Blackwood estate as he explores the grounds and rooms of the house. Everything is detailed elaborately, bringing the half-built Victorian mansion to life. From wallpaper to various baubles on table tops, the house looks like a lush haven for a wealthy family: but of course, these sorts of houses have their secrets, and the Blackwood estate's are a little darker than most.

James T. Blackwood, the original owner, was an extensive collector of African tribal art - it's influence can be seen throughout the house as well in a second-floor museum focused entirely on the subject. In a journal in Blackwood's study, the player can discover that on a particular trip, Blackwood stumbled upon a rare and believed to be mythical cannibalistic tribe. They were apparently being led by a mask (no, no Jim Carrey jokes here please); Blackwood became so enamored of the object that he made plans to steal it, and eventually import it back to America. The events that transpired afterward is where you, the player, come in. The puzzles of the game are fairly straight forward and bring everything together in a slow fashion that will leave you wanting more. The scares are few and far between, but the scenes that do their best to make you jump in your seat will definitely do just that the first time you see them; repeat plays will probably not have the same effect. The first person point of view certainly lends the idea that you're right there in the action, which coupled with a dark room and headphones can certainly make for a horror-inspiring atmosphere.

The game altogether is a fairly quick playthrough, not really taking more than 8 hours (if that); but it's a great interactive novel. I didn't know this until recently, but the Director's Cut edition has an extra side quest to give you more information after the ending of the game. Titled "The Last Visit", you play as the reporter who returns to the Blackwood estate 10 years after the events of the original game in order to do one last piece on the events before the house is torn down for good. Overall, this game is great for people who like a good, slow horror story - Scratches: Director's Cut is available throught Steam for just $9.99.

The Last Lovecraft: Relic of Cthulu (2009)

What It's About: When average-guy Jeff learns he's related to world-famous "weird fiction" writer H.P. Lovecraft -- and that he's the very last leaf on the Lovecraft family tree -- he gets drawn into a plot to keep an ancient artifact out of alien hands. If he fails, the nefarious Starspawn could harness the relic's power to summon the alien god Cthulhu. And if that happens, the whole universe is at risk.

Review: Lovecraft's stories are terrific fodder for horror films - the purple prose is rich with horrific descriptions of alien beings that would tear a mortal's mind asunder with just their mere presence. However, The Last Lovecraft: Relic of Cthulu is not really that film. It's a horror comedy that revolves around a trio of geeks, one of whom happens to be the last living descendant of Lovecraft himself (despite the fact that Lovecraft never had any kids - shhh, it's a secret!). We are introduced to Jeff and Charlie, two working stiffs who have been friends since they were young. Jeff is oblivious to women, while Charlie is far too involved with his various action figures. Into their hum-drum lives comes crashing the Council of Cthulu, who need to hand over one half of a precious relic that could be used to summon the octopus-faced deity from the watery depths. They just have to keep it away from the Cult of Cthulu, who have the other half and wish to summon their terrible master so that he might once again rule over the planet.

Council...Cult...Confused yet? 

This Dark Endeavor: The Apprenticeship of Victor Frankenstein, Kenneth Oppel (2011)

Anyone who reads this blog knows that I have a deep passion for pretty much anything even remotely related to Mary Shelley's classic, Frankenstein: The Modern Prometheus. I have reviewed a few sequels to the book, but This Dark Endeavor goes in a completely new direction. Titled a prequel, it's really more of a reimagining of the story of a mad scientist and his creation. This, this right here is how you do "reboots" or "remakes", you come at the subject from a different view point and try to see how it can be reinvented, examined from a new perspective. Not only that, Oppel's descriptive, florid writing isn't overbearing, instead bringing a level of intelligence I've come to expect in anything that wants to try and stake a claim on the Frankenstein legacy.

In Oppel's version, Victor is born with a twin brother, Konrad. The two are identical and inseparable, and along with their cousin Elizabeth and good friend Henry Clerval, this band of intelligent young people spend their days in a lap of luxury. Henry is an aspiring writer (though he knows that it will never amount to much if he wishes to truly support himself) and writes plays that his friends perform. Victor is an arrogant, rash young man, setting himself clearly apart from his twin, who is not only the elder, but the more charismatic, intelligent, and generally well liked of the two. One might think that this would lead to enmity between the brothers, but in truth they work together like two sides of the same coin. Elizabeth, the only female of the group, and the main female character of the book, keeps up with the boys with little issue, able to add in their debates and even taking part in their learning as a part of the Frankenstein's liberal household. 

A thirst for knowledge runs deeply in the group, and they stumble upon a hidden library in the house; a Dark Library, full of occult knowledge and alchemy spells. Victor and Konrad's father discover the group in the library, and ban them from ever entering it again, for alchemy is illegal in Geneva and he would not have his children mixed up in something as sodden as "magic". Victor's interest is piqued, but he is content to leave well enough alone until Konrad mysteriously falls ill. He continues to worsen, even as treatment after treatment is given to him. Victor finds that the only solution may be an Elixir of Life, described in one of Agrippa's books (Heinrich Cornelius Agrippa, a German magician and alchemist). But the text is written in code, and in order to break it, Victor, Elizabeth, and Henry are force to seek out one who is familiar with the craft of alchemy. This search leads them to Julius Polidori, undoubtedly named for Lord Byron's doctor, who was a well-known companion of Bryon, Percy Shelley, and Mary Shelley. 

The book follows Victor's adventures in collecting the three items needed to create the elixir - and in the discovery of alchemy, Victor learns much, much more about himself that he ever thought he would. Not only does he have a gift for crafting alchemical potions, but he comes to learn that he and his brother are at odds over the subject of Elizabeth's heart. I personally enjoyed seeing the usual young adult love triangle told from the perspective of one of the suitors; it was also good that the romance did not make up the bulk of the novel. The true focus of the book is on the relationship between Konrad and Victor. Its easy to see where the sequel, Such Wicked Intent (due out in August of this year), is going to head, but I loved that the book played with similar elements as that of the British stage play version of Frankenstein, put on by the National Theater. It's the thought that Victor and his Creation are two sides of the same coin, complementing and completing each other in a richer way than any romance or relationship could. 

Homages to the original novel abound throughout the book, popping up with delight for the reader who can spot them. It certainly lays out where the story can go, but I trust Oppel to make it quite a journey to get to the end - for in the telling of any story, it's more about the obstacles that the protagonist must pass through in order to reach their ending rather than the ending itself. For a young adult novel, this book was gripping, and I had it finished within days of finally locating it. If you're looking for a great, quick read, I highly recommend this book.

Saturday Horror Shorts #4

Welcome to yet another edition of SHS! Today's showing is something a little less typical than most horror fare - it starts out leading the view into thinking that it's following one pattern, and then adds a new element that completely changes the whole thing. The short film is surreal and moving, ever switching things up to keep you on your toes until the very end! Check out Endless by Michael Bloom. Get the popcorn, dim the lights, and be sure to watch it in full screen!

Have a great weekend!

The Ward (2010)

What It's About: A thriller centered on an institutionalized young woman who becomes terrorized by a ghost.

Review: John Carpenter - that's a name pretty much anyone who is even slightly into horror films should know. I mean, the man came up with Michael Meyer/the Halloween series. Carpenter isn't one of my favorite directors to be perfectly honest with you; he opts for the slow creep, the idea that tension builds to a huge payoff, but unfortunately this is rarely the case. The Ward fits into this category - a slow thriller about a troupe of girls locked up a mental facility, slowly being picked off by a ghost. Sounds like a great idea, right? Unfortunately, the execution is off, leaving the viewer waiting to be scared but never actually reaching that point. And then there's the ending, but I don't want to spoil that for those who do want to watch this film.

The film will certainly give it's all in trying to scare you.

The Science of Making Zombies

Zombification is the art of creating and sustaining a zombie – however, there is a lot more science behind it than you might think. To begin, there are a few things you must understand in order to comprehend how this process could possibly take place. Haiti is a place that is unlike any other – its culture stands for things that, in America, we would take as Hollywood mumbo-jumbo. Voodoo is the religion, and within it is Hoodoo, the magic you see in most movies, ancestor worship which can lead to possession, and spirit incantations. Zombification is the worst punishment anyone could ever bring upon themselves, and so it is used as a social barrier to keep people in line. There have been many documented cases of Zombification, but very few are actual first-hand accounts. 

23 Hours, David Wellington (2009)

David Wellington has redefined monsters - or perhaps brought them back to their original forms? First he started with zombies in the Monster Island, Monster Nation, and Monster Planet series. Then he tackled vampires with state trooper Laura Caxton in the book 13 Bullets, followed up by 99 Coffins and Vampire Zero. The latest installment is 23 Hours, and it seems that Wellington hasn't run out of steam just yet.

Caxton is now an ex-trooper and in jail - arrested at the end of Vampire Zero for her neglectful behavior towards proper police procedure, federal agent Fetlock has her locked away in a women's state penitentiary.  Caxton believes that she can just serve her time and maybe even get out early for good behavior, but it seems that a supernatural  force has other ideas; ideas that will make the penitentiary into a buffet for the living dead.

Justinia Malvern, seemingly the last vampire, infiltrates the prison with one thing on her mind - Caxton. Her MO is to turn vampire killers into vampires, an irony she finds all too amusing. However, this time around Malvern may have something else in mind; who can tell? All Caxton knows is that she has one last chance to kill the vampire who's taken everything away from her - her mentor, her job, her life. Clara, Caxton's girlfriend, provides us with an outsider's view into the battle between the living and the dead with her struggle to understand why Caxton can't let go of the past.

Perhaps the best thing about this series is the originality of the vampires. Going back to the image of Count Orlock, Wellington's vamps are completely bald (and I mean hairless - no eyebrows, nothing) with pointed ears. Their mouths are full of shark-like teeth, intended to rend the victim; which is useful, considering that the vampires need more and more blood to survive night to night. The vampires continue to age as they grow older, eventually becoming too weak to feed themselves. They are described as unnatural, so much so that you can feel the wrongness of the creatures. And when they go to sleep? They fall apart! They literally liquefy in order to regenerate, leaving them completely vulnerable in the daylight hours. 

Rife with realistic police procedures and protocol, as well as action packed scenes between both human and non-human enemies, Wellington adds yet another chapter into this exciting and original series. These are vampire books for people who are sick of Twilight and want something with a little more...blood.

Meeting Anne Rice

Hi everyone! Or all of four people who follow this blog? In place of SHS, I decided to do a video post about meeting Anne in SF. Sorry for the poor video quality, I'm pretty new to all of this. Hope you found this as entertaining as I'm about to find it potentially embarrassing...

Normal posting schedule will resume Monday! Have a good weekend!

Experiencing Technical Difficulties

I feel really lame doing this, but I've run out of articles/reviews/what have you to post on schedule, but I also don't want to simply post nothing. There's a laundry list of complaints that I could sing to you as to why I've got nothing to post, but I won't drudge that out here. So you're getting another video! That's right, two videos in two days instead of just one. I'll make this up hopefully soon, though with what I have yet to decide. Today I'm going to meet Anne Rice in San Francisco while she's on her Wolf Gift tour. Maybe something will come of that. Anyway!

This was a nifty little video that I found on Youtube awhile back, while researching the Spiritualism movement. It's stop-motion animation, which is something I highly admire and adore, because it shows real dedication to the craft. The story is pretty easy to follow: I hope you enjoy it as much as I did when I first found it.

After.Life (2009)

A young woman, fleeing from a break up with her longtime boyfriend, ends up in a head on collision with a truck. The next time we see her, she's on a mortician's slab, being clinically disrobed in preparation for burial. Suddenly, the woman's eyes open and she asks where she is. The mortician, without batting an eye, calmly informs her that she's in a funeral home - she was in a car accident. She's dead. The young woman attempts to get off of the slab, but finds herself in a paralyzed state, unable to move and held fast as the mortician cleans her wounds and continues to calm her in a low, monotone voice that brooks no argument to his words. He even shows her a death certificate - it all sounds pretty convincing, right?

Defending The Vampire Diaries As Horror

To be entirely honest, I looked down on The Vampire Diaries along with the rest of the horror fanatics. I am not a fan of the current vampire trend, because it seems that the majority of the bloodsuckers it introduces are defanged, teddy bear type monsters that hold no real scare factor for the viewers. Instead they're the bad boys that have been tamed, usually because they want to be forgiven and are too full of remorse to be terribly interesting. TVD looked like more of the same from Twilight, and so I was confused when I saw it appearing on my favorite horror sites. Obviously they must be pandering to the crowds who were eating up this Twi-phenomenon. Now that I've caught up with all three seasons, I'm completely changing my tune. 

Saturday Horror Short #3

Welcome to another installment of Saturday Horror Shorts! This week's showing is an interesting little tale about why it's not very nice to steal from the dead. In a classy, black and white setting, Ring Wraith follows the story of a mortician who takes home one little thing, and quickly comes to regret it. Get your snacks, dim the lights, and enjoy!

Vampire the Masquerade: Bloodlines (2004)

You're out partying at a club one night, and a stranger catches your eye. He (or she) is impossibly beautiful, or maybe that's just how you're perceiving them. Either way, this person sweeps you off your feet with just a few words, and before you know it you're back at their place. One thing leads to another, and they say they want to show you something. This is about to get kinky, right? Sort of - suddenly you're waking up from a blackout, your neck hurts, and people are barging in through the door. They drive a sharpened piece of wood through the chest of the person who brought you home, and through your chest as well, and it's lights out all over again.

This is the opening sequence for Vampire the Masquerade: Bloodlines, based off of the pencil and paper game Vampire the Masquerade by White Wolf. VTM is one aspect of World of Darkness, which encompasses mages, werewolves, fae, Frankenstein-esque creatures, ghosts, and who knows what else. It's a vivid, rich world that draws from mythologies all over the globe. This is especially evident in VTMB: in the game, the player can choose to enter into one of seven clans, each representing a stereotype in vampiric fiction. The most easily identifiable is clan Nosferatu, who shares a similar physical appearance to the character played by Max Schreck. The Ventrue are posh, upper class monsters, while their cousins the Malkavians each suffer from acute insanity. Gangrel hold the power to shift into different animals, while Brujah are anger-driven killers. Tremere are blood mages, and the last are the Toreador, who have a deepseated passion for art and all other things created by humanity. Each clan offers a variety of different ways to play the game: the Nosferatu require you to be incredibly stealthy, Toreadors are lovers rather than fighters, and getting people to understand Malkavians is a job in itself. But all of this makes the replay value of the game extremely high.

Sandman Slim, Richard Kadrey (2009)

There are all sorts of boogie monsters - ones for children, ones for adults. But what about a boogie man for the monsters themselves? Enter James Stark, aka Sandman Slim. After spending eleven years in Hell, he's back topside, walking the streets of Los Angeles in order to enact revenge on the man who both sent him to Hell and orchestrated the death of the only woman he ever loved. In a sea of wise-cracking, magic-wielding male anti-heroes, Stark attempts to stand out by using a brash attitude and blatant violence that usually borders on sucidially idiotic.

Richard Kadrey's book is like most first person point of view stories around a central 'badass' character - more than likely a self insert of the author themselves. Stark here reminded me of a less charming John Constantine, a less funny Harry Dresden. There are so many other types of these heroes that Kadrey doesn't do much to set his character apart. Sure, Stark was involved in a group of magic-wielding, power-hungry people, and of course, within that group he was technically the best. But his own youth and idiocy is what allowed the leader of the group to eventually trap him in hell. The one thing that Stark has going for him (in terms of survival within the story) is his absolute brutality, along with the ability to take a lot of punishment. This man is a killer - during his time in hell, he was sent to something similar to a gladiatorial ring, in order to amuse the deviants of Lucifer's kingdom. Stark was eventually sold into the service of one of Lucifer's higher generals, and used as something of a hit man in order to kill the general's enemies. Once topside, Stark uses these questionable talents in order to enact revenge on the people who sent him to Hell in the first place.

Sandman Slim starts off right when Stark gets back from Hell, stepping back onto the mortal coil through a graveyard. When I first opened the book, I have to admit that I thought I had missed a book in the series - it truly felt like the reader was missing pertinent information that the author was referring to, as though there had been another volume. But the details are slowly colored in, somewhat sparsely, throughout the telling of the story. One thing that miffed me was that we get to see so little of the cult that Stark was originally involved in. The two main baddies remain out of the picture for the majority of the book as Stark chases after them (with the exception of one scene where Stark ends up barreling into a busy street in the middle of the day, causing a huge number of accidents and explosions that have to be written off as movie stunts gone wrong), but the moment the other characters are introduced, you see them for a handful of pages before they're written off entirely.

For example, the women in this book make token appearances, and with the exception of Candy, they are all the stereotypical damsel in distress, frigid bitch, or prize at the bottom of the box tropes. If you think about it, the book is all one big allegory for Los Angeles, what with its attempted veneer of class that hides a world of intense violence, both physical and mental; a place that judges people by their looks (especially women) rather than their skills. Stark tracks down one of the women from the cult, essentially a witch who uses her powers to maintain a jailbait look; she's in her sanctuary at the time, but later arranges to meet Stark at a local taco joint. She never shows, and from there it's assumed that she's dead. The other woman from the cult, the frigid bitch trope, is seen for all of five seconds when Stark finds her accidentally while doing another mission, and then is never heard from again.

In the vein of loose ends, it's never explicitly explained what Sandman Slim even means. Stark simply learns, one day, that the denizens of Hell started calling him that, when he was elevated to assassin while working for the general. It sounds like something cool the author came up with and slapped on at the last minute - for some reason needing an alternate name for his character when James Stark wasn't cutting it.

There is one new, novel idea - Stark has a key that allows him entrance into the Room of 13 Doors. Each door can get him into various places in the world, including Heaven and Hell. It's through this key and room that Stark is able to reach his victims, and how he was able to gain such a reputation in Hell: and it eventually brings him to the book's antagonist, who is hiding in an alternate dimension entirely.

All in all, Sandman Slim is a quick, somewhat amusing read, but does little to do anything new with the genre it's entered into. With giants like John Constantine and Harry Dresden, it's definitely hard to do something that is new and helps your character keep up with bigger names. Of course, the one thing about these sorts of characters is the fact that they will grow throughout the series - in the beginning, few characters are outrightly likeable because they haven't had time to develop, to change, to really find their footing. Maybe this will happen for Sandman Slim: perhaps given time, he'll become a more robust character that finds his niche, rather than just looking like a gorilla-esque copycat.

Remakes Are Not The Monster Under The Bed

Art by Joshua Hoffine.

If there's one genre of film that receives more remakes than any other, it is horror films. For some reason, the reingesting and spitting up of old ideas with the current technology seems to be a recurring facet for scary movies. And, in my opinion, it's really not something that people need to constantly get their panties in a twist over. Take the most recently announced remake, Evil Dead. Firstly, it's being produced by both Sam Raimi, the original film's creator and director, as well as Bruce Campbell, the original star (who might even have a cameo as a "milk man"). Any time I see the announcement of a remake, the instant fan reaction is "don't fix what's not broke" or "they are going to ruin the original". I want to explain why both of those reactions are just plain wrong. 

Saturday Horror Shorts #2

Welcome to the second installment of Saturday Horror Shorts! I hope you all enjoyed last week's video, Ask a Mortician; this week, I've got a short film for you, titled Still Life. Today we do all kinds of things to keep ourselves motivated, keep ourselves moving - coffee, pills, whatever it takes. But when does it go too far? The film has an ending that you definitely won't see coming. Get some snacks, dim the lights, and enjoy the film!

Book vs Movie: The Woman In Black

Gothic horror brings to mind Victorian period, where people were obsessed with death, what came after, and how to be sure that their loved ones were in a safer place. Queen Victoria's reign made the mourning period a culture - and thus a variety of ghost stories were born. Susan Hill's The Woman In Black continues this tradition, and the story carries such weight that it's been made into several different formats: a radio program, a theater play, and a british film. Most recently it was adapted by the newly reopened Hammer Studios for a theatrical film starring Daniel Radcliffe. Here I'll talk about the adaptation of book to film, and compare what works, and what doesn't. There will be some spoilers, as I'll have to cite specific scenes and passages for comparisons, so read on with that warning in mind.

Hatchet (2006)

What It's About: When a group of tourists on a New Orleans haunted swamp tour find themselves stranded in the wilderness, their evening of fun and spooks turns into a horrific nightmare.

Review: Slasher films have definitely become a staple of horror films; where once it was all Gothic and nothing but atmospheric music and fog now comes visceral sprays of blood and gore in order to truly frighten a public that was too quickly becoming bored of the simplistic idea of 'less is more.' Of course, once you start going down the path of showing rather than telling, people become desensitized, and then things get ramped up past eleven so your audience feels something...and you see where this is going. Of course, not all slasher films are bad - in fact, Nightmare on Elm Street, Halloween, and Friday the 13th are all familiar faces (Freddy, Michael, and Jason, respectively) that every horror fan knows and loves. But its a very fine line in proving what makes a good slasher - generally the requirements are nothing more than a huge lumbering man who doesn't speak and either kills teenagers who drink and have sex or is just really pissed off for some inexplicable reason. And Victor Crowley fits that stereotype nicely. 

Smile for the camera!

A Vampyre Story (2008)

There are lots of vampires these days. Lots of vampires trying new things, adding twists and attempting to be original. Mona of the puzzle RPG A Vampyre Story is not one of those vampires - and it's a good thing. 

From the minds of the beloved Monkey Island series comes a rather stereotypical story; in my mind, so stereotypical that it's actually refreshing. Some people like trying new things, but for me, I'm a homebody, a slave to familiarity and things I know I like. A Vampyre Story takes everything from vampire mythology and has fun with it, presenting it in a fun, stylized fashion with interesting characters and dialogue. I mean, just look at the title. It's obviously an homage to John Polidori's The Vampyre, just looking at the spelling. The plot of the game is similar to many other horror stories as well - we have a young French opera singer who is captured by a fiendish if short vampire and taken to his castle in Draxsylvania. Young French opera singer? Sounds like Christine Daae from Phantom of the Opera. Draxsylvania? Why, what a clever twist on Dracula and Transylvania! And this is only the beginning of the dozens of references to both horror films, books, and other memorbilia as we follow the main character's story throughout the game.

Saturday Horror Shorts

Beyond just doing MWF updates here, I wanted to try doing something that would be unique to this particular blog - of course, on the Internet, there isn't much that particularly unique. Being a speshul snowflake is usually the one way to make yourself ripe for humiliation at the hands of millions, but I think I found something that both I and my readers can enjoy.

I call it Saturday Horror Shorts. I, Ash, will brave the wilds of YouTube (and other video hosting sites) in order to return with interesting, terrifying, or plain hilarious horror shorts that I can find for you, the reader, to enjoy. Like this idea? Well, if you don't, too bad, because this is what we're going with!

For the first installment of SHS, I want to introduce you to something I myself have found pretty recently through the FaceBook page for Creepy LA: the newly hatched webseries, Ask A Mortician! Now, you might be asking yourself, has no one done this before? Actually, there have been quite a few uploads of various aspects of the burial process, but nothing quite like this. 

Mortician Caitlin Doughty takes and answers questions of all varieties in a comedic fashion. To paraphrase a comment posted by her on her YouTube channel, her hope is to familiarize viewers with the funeral process, thus making death seem not as terrifying as it's currently considered in our society. It's definitely a noble goal, one that I support wholeheartedly. 

Here's Episode 4, by far my favorite episode:

Check out the other videos on her YouTube channel, Order Of The Good Death, and subscribe for updates! Hopefully next week's SHS won't be as wordy, but we'll just play this one by ear! Have a bloody awesome weekend!

Pandora's Bride, Elizabeth Hand (2007)

As stated in a previous post, I adore all things Frankenstein. So when I found out about Pandora's Bride, I tried to find a copy in stores (which was futile). Recently I purchased a copy from Amazon - unfortunately, I didn't really find the book to be at the same level as other Frankenstein-esque titles I've read (Frankenstein's Monster, Frankenstein's Bride, The Casebook of Victor Frankenstein - which, to be fair, are all more recent titles, though not by much).

This is an officially sanctioned sequel to the Universal Studio's film The Bride of Frankenstein. For those who haven't seen the film, here's a spoiler alert - the Bride (played by Elsa Lanchester) is in the film for all of six minutes (and what glorious minutes they are!). The bulk of the film follows Dr. Pretorius as he slowly manipulates Henry Frankenstein into creating a female version of the creature. Though in the film Dr. Pretorius is supposed to be an evil man, I didn't quite find him to be so - after all, when no one else has taken pity on the creature (not even Henry, his creator), here is Pretorius, who steps up to give the creature something to help soothe his pain. Pretorius is found to be quite the mad scientist, having created several creatures already: all miniature in size, they vary from a king to a mermaid, each one more perfect than the last. 

In the book, Pretorius continues his role of a gray-area benefactor to the female creature, who he adopts as a daughter of sorts. Perhaps in keeping with Shelley's original book, when the female creature is asked to pick a name for herself, she eventually settles on the greek Pandora, who is known for her curiosity and unwittingly releasing all of the horrors into the world; however, Pandora is described as a goddess of femininity (along with the more well known myth), which is what sways the female creature's decision. The story goes from Pandora's birthplace to the city of Berlin, with a wide cast that ranges from Pretorius' Children of Cain (the miniature creations he's made through various experiments, including a large horse that eats rodents), a narcoleptic named Cesare who acts as Pretorius' assistant, and another scientist named Rotwang who creates his beings out of mechanical parts. The villains of the piece turn out to be Henry and his wife Elizabeth, who are planning on remaking all females in the world into obedient slaves, through which they will control all men.

A theme of feminism is the most striking thing about the book, which is only natural since we're dealing with the creation of a woman solely for that of a mate (not unlike Eve in the Bible, but any Frankenstein-esque book is rarely without its religious themes) but it often comes off as heavy handed. I did enjoy having the main character be the bride herself, but I wish that she had shown the same amount of wit and inner turmoil that the creature exhibits in nearly every incarnation of Frankenstein that I've seen - instead she is of one mind, that she knows all, and if that's supposed to be a blatant statement about women, well, it's a poorly done one at that. Pandora bucks against expectations for her gender, but eventually comes to realize that one cannot be taken in by appearance and must learn from experience. 

After reading Frankenstein's Monster by Susan O'Keefe, the writing definitely felt underpar; just as being sexually alluring is Dracula's trademark, the juxtaposition of an ugly exterior with a brilliant mind is Frankenstein's creature, and I simply didn't feel that level of intelligence coming through in the writing. I do enjoy the fact that the creature got a voice this time around (it's essential to his character, and being stripped of it in the film really destroys his evolution as put forth in the original book), and that he is also given a chance to prove himself to earn Pandora's affection; but honestly, the book doesn't do much that's new. It was also an incredibly quick read - I literally sat down and was done with it in the same day. I certainly wouldn't reccommend this book to a Frankenstein purist, either of the Universal Movies flavor or the book; I'm a little sick myself of seeing Henry/Victor being shoehorned into the villain role. I would tell anyone interested in this book to pass on it.