Hellraiser: Hellworld (2005)

What it's about: In this eighth installment of Clive Barker's film franchise, a group of Internet enthusiasts get sucked into a video game and soon score an invite to an exclusive and mysterious gathering, where the lines between cyberlife and reality are blurred. But when the soiree starts, the computer whizzes realize their host is none other than the maniacal Pinhead (Doug Bradley). And unfortunately for them, he knows how to throw a killer party.

Review: The description of this film is pretty misleading -- yes, Doug Bradley/Pinhead does make an appearance, along with an entourage of cenobites, but there is nothing else that would tie this film to the Hellraiser franchise. In essence H: Hellworld is more of a typical slasher with your typical cast of characters, all being picked off one by one for some heinous action in the past. So, it's like someone tried to paste Hellraiser over I Know What You Did Last Summer. Overall it makes for a film that is semi-interesting, but ultimately falls flat.

And not the fun kind!

We follow Chelsea and her friends after one of their group commits suicide (and man when you find out how he went!). All of them were intensely involved in an online MMORPG called Hellworld, but none more so than Adam, the one who takes his own life. Adam's death sits poorly with Chelsea, who thinks it's in bad taste to continue playing the game. Her friends think differently, and one by one they all unlock a digital Lament Configuration. Doing so invites them to an exclusive party, and no, not a LAN party. A real one, set in a house on the outskirts of town. 

This is basically where it veers away from the typical Hellraiser set up. No one has opened the cube at this point, at least, not a real one. There is a death involved, and some guilt, but as far as we know, there's no sin or crime that's been committed. For the most part, it seems like this is all still set up. The teens, to a letter, fit the stereotypes that we've come to expect in any slasher: the athlete, the token black guy, the geek, the goth girl, and the dumb blond/virginal character (with questionable virginity). None of them really seem like they can act their way out of a paper bag, and it's especially painful to watch when they're stacked against a veteran like Lance Henriksen. Its really kind of sad to see this sort of banality forced on a Hellraiser movie, especially when the first two set the bar so high for originality.

You better believe I'm judging you.

Some of the cinematography is interesting and definitely keeps within the feel of the series, but the kills are lackluster and there's far too little cenobite action for a Hellraiser flick. Pinhead makes several appearances, being the face of the series, but he's essentially a sock puppet at this point. He even goes so far as to chop off one of the character's heads with a butcher knife -- how is that a cenobite kill?! It's the most boring kill you can imagine! There's only one kill that is actually interesting, and it looks like it came out of SAW.

And then there's the ending. Oh, the ending. When we finally get to the grand finale of why the characters are actually at the party, the explanation essentially invalidates the rest of the film. All those supernatural shenanigans? Nope! In the end it comes down to petty revenge. As far as revenge schemes go, this is pretty elaborate, but it also doesn't honestly make sense. I won't reveal it here just in case you're still interested in seeing this crapfest for yourself (it could be worth a laugh and it's on Netflix), but I'm telling you now, there is no payoff from this film.

Worst trip to the dentist ever.

I love Clive Barker and his many works, Hellraiser and Candyman being my favorites. The first two Hellraiser films were his babies, and reflected exactly what he was imagining when he wrote "The Hellbound Heart". But every sequel after that seemed to chip away at the image that Barker created, and now we're left with this mess. Honestly, I mainly watched it because it has Henry Cavill playing a douche bag, but this seems to be before Cavill found his footing as an actor because he comes off awkward and strange, or else the script/direction was just that bad. And he doesn't even take off his shirt, which I found incredibly disappointing.